Blog #9

For my other writing classes, it was easy to answer the question of how it has effected my writing.  Those classes dealt with my writing and that of my peers.  But this class dealt with writing specifically catered to an audience by a small demographic of people.  Even though it didn’t give direct assistance with technique or style, it did help with audience recognition.  Certain styles or topics are more acceptable within specific audiences, that part’s obvious, but how to go about writing for those audiences without sounding tired and mundane, that’s the hard part.  I still don’t know how I’m going to get around it, but that class has made me more aware of that fact that it definitely needs to happen.  I don’t know that I like to idea of writing to a target audience.  I don’t want to pigeon-hole the reader into defined categories.  But that’s the reality of it.  And writing without a specific audience in mind can feel lost.  It can ramble.  It turns into the self pleasure of a writer on paper, which is very hard to read.  When I write just for myself, it gets so haphazard and disjointed.  The ideas and the structure are all over the place.  I need the focus. 

My future plans for writing are a little hazy at this point.  In my top five things on my life’s priority list, getting published isn’t in it.  It’s more than likely a confidence thing.  It’s entirely a confidence thing.  A hermit thing.  Plus, I don’t feel like I’ve finished a piece of writing enough, at this point.  But this could all change.  I’m taking a little time away from the writing world to go into nonprofit service work and maybe that will shift the balance back in the future.  My priorities are in a constant flux, so I’m not going to say either way what my future holds in writing.  I just know that I’m going to do it.

Blog #8

New Voices is such an exciting publication!  I’m really excited to be part of something that encourages young writers.  Because of the overwhelming amount of poetry submitted, I got to read some of that, in addition to the fiction.  I could go ahead and not ever do that again and not feel like anything was missing from my life…   And a lot of the fiction was hard to get through.  But this is a process for both the writers and us on the editorial board.  I think New Voices reminds us of the humility that comes with writing.  To prepare myself for the New Voices process, I read some of my journals that I wrote in high school.  They were ridiculous.  And pretentious.  And pretty much just a hot mess.  But it’s where I started.  These kids are just starting out and the feeling that comes with getting something published for the first time is overwhelmingly positive.  Sure, it’s hard work to read through all the overly dramatic and over worded pieces, but knowing that we’re giving these kids this kind of opportunity is such a reward. 

On the other hand, the situation that came up with the mass submissions from teachers was a problem.  It would be nice if they would pick out pieces that they had confidence in or ones that struck them in some way as unique.  This formulaic writing and 50 copies of the same thing was a little insulting.  Some of those students were clearly writing because it was mandatory.   But it is what it is and we can’t do anything this year except be thankful for the pieces that we were able to find. 

Of the two publications that we work with in this class, I have to say that I like the writing in Dust and Fire better, but the New Voices anthology is such a positive opportunity for youth, I really have to say that I love it more.  Plus, that cover will look amazing.  I love the lips.  Love them.

Blog #7

This is Dust & Fire: version 2.0 for me.  in both this year and last year, I was picky.  That’s because I am picky.  But this year, I tried to work on being the possibility that I’m overly selective.  Which I’m not, but the possibility that I could be perceived that way is probable.  Only 6-8 prose pieces struck me as needing to be in the anthology.  Then I worked around in the wiggle room.  I liked some of the potential of a couple pieces, or the attempt that one piece was making to tell a tired story from a different angle, so I started to stick up for those a little more, as well.  Usually, if the underdog isn’t to  my liking, I’ll just push it under a little more, but I tried to reconsider and reread the pieces that I wasn’t initially drawn to.  It worked out well, because I love the tone of the prose in the anthology.  It has a women’s version of honesty, both subtle and forthright strength, and a tenderness that brings the pieces to a cohesive whole.  And Boobs isn’t in it.  So I can be happy with it. 

A small hand of doubt tugs when i think about the prizes.  I didn’t vote for the piece that had the best writing, in fact, I spoke out for another piece which didn’t have the same skill level.  But it moved me more.  It had a raw honesty, even though it was fiction, that couldn’t be denied.  My instincts grabbed a different piece than my head wanted.  When it’s all over, they will both be in the anthology and that’s exciting.  I’d love to read anything more written by either of those two women. 

The anthology is a good example of writing for an audience.  We had a piece that was well written, but was contentious because it was written from a man’s POV.  It didn’t fit well with the other prose selections and stuck out because of it. 

Group dynamics are tricky in these sort of situations.  They were my key to motivation, but if everyone isn’t on the same wave with that, it’s more than a little bit frustrating.  I hated sitting in class waiting for people to read packets that should have already been done.  This class only meets twice a week and there isn’t much homework for it.  I don’t understand why it would be too much to ask to use the time alloted for discussion to discuss and not to read.  However, most of the time, it worked out well.  It was nice to get the different views and get some other insight into pieces.  I gave a couple a yes vote after listening to some arguments in favor of the pieces. 

Dust & Fire is an area that I tend to be more opinionated that I initially thought I would be.  It also taught me that I’m possibly a snob, but I can’t help it.  I just have strong opinions when I have them.  Lukewarm usually got a no.  But I’m like this in most other aspects of my life, so it would be hard to change it just for an anthology.

Blog #6

Between William Lychak’s “Stolpeslad” or Ashlee Adam’s “Bird Feed”, initially, I was going to pick “Bird Feed” after first reading both stories.  I understood it better and the language didn’t annoy me as much (sometimes, it seemed as though Lychak’s piece was missing some of the words, it’s hard to read other people’s bad grammar.  Even though I clearly don’t have any issue with not proofing my own writing and submitting things with atrocious grammar).  Also, I didn’t really feel like the second person thing was working in “Stolpestad”.  I wanted it to be written in either first or third person.  The young woman narrator in “Bird Feed” was relatable, sympathetic, and honest.  I dug it.  But then I got bored with it.  It was a touching story, but my thoughts went back to “Stolpestad” after reading “Bird Feed”.  That dad… skeevy.  He pissed me off.  Why would someone go back to tell them that the favor he had done for them had gone awry?  Also, the comment, even though taken back, about using the collar on the police officer’s wife?  So inappropriate.  I loved the name Goliath for a dog, my dog is named Grendel (and it suits him).  I couldn’t help but think about how if would feel to see him in the same condition as Goliath.  It hurt.  The image of her dying into the weeds, a slow and painful death, being eaten by insects with intestines coming out and mangled legs, it was almost too aggressive.  But the image and the feeling that went along with the last scene, with the police officer standing in the yard was stronger for me.  It was filled with pity and hurt.  It had a bigger impact than the stifled life of the “Bird Feed” gal ever could.

Blog #5

Allison Townsend’s “The Favorite” was fairly interesting to me.  This poem, which read easily, in part because the tone was pretty casual and the setup was easy to follow, with the stanzas each being 9 lines.  It read almost like prose.  I love the idea of picking a favorite.  But another rape victim redeemed through art? No, I don’t really want to read another one of those… It could just be my mood (after staying up late watching Vivien Leigh specials on AMC, I don’t want to deal with drama).  Plus it seemed like a cliché to have the scene develop in a carnival, a location where everything is grotesque, but masked; a mysterious place where things aren’t what they appear.  But I liked the viewpoint of reading from the vantage point of a professor, not the 18 year old.  The distance that was initially there was stripped by the end, so it twisted the poem and revealed insight about both characters.  It was crafted well.

Blog #4

Addonizio’s ”How to Succeed in Po Biz” was funny, but I couldn’t pick it to write about because it was too self-indulgent.  Sure it was funny, but it didn’t do anything for me.  Lydia Davis “We Had Wondered What Animal Might Arrive” was one that I had to read twice.  At first glance, I didn’t like it.  It’s boring.  It’s dull.  It’s about cows.  however, in the subsequent readings, I thought it turned into a little ode to the banal.  The tone is very distanced, it feels like the scribbles of someone people watching.  The strongest one of the senses used in the piece is that of vision.  The stong visual images, and the reflection that follows of those images lends to the people watching feel. My favorite lines are in the last paragraph: “Two of them have strange white faces, like masks, but they rarely look up… The other day, I realized they were growing up, because I saw two of them charging each other for the first time and butting heads together.  In another few months, perhaps, they will be large enough to slaughter for their meat.  Then, I will miss their deep black against the green field, and their peaceful occupation.”  It has such a simple flavor, but one that is loaded with beauty, compassion and elegant truth.  The solitary vibe and the feeling that everything will eventually die, was resonant after reading the small piece.  It had an almost Steinbeck feel.  It would be something that I would want to publish in something like Dust and Fire.

Blog #3

“Our Pointy Boots”, first published in Ecotone, scared me.  The short story by Brock Clarke was richly detailed, but seemed stark at the same time.  The characters were interchangeable.  The emotions of the people returning from the army and their spouses were all roughly the same.  Everything fit into a category, but it had such poignancy that I thought about it for a few days after.  The image of a man threatening to fuck a boy’s dead mother for information was strongly imbedded into the speaker’s mind and now my own.  There were too many emotions in this short story for me to deal with: shame, anger, numbness, indifference, and anticipation.  I  finished reading this with a high anxiety level.  Having a younger brother in the military, one that has a newborn son at home, gave a perspective on this story that I didn’t want.

Blog #2

I hate naming blogs, so I’m just going to number them.

The assignment was to read one of three poems and blog about them: Louise Gluck’s “Midsummer”, Paisley Rekdal’s ”Why Some Girls Love Horses”, and Peter Everwine’s ”Rain”.  I read the three of them and struggled between picking between “Rain” and “Midsummer”.  Unable to understand or just get the flow and meaning in some parts of Rekdal’s poem, I had to cast that one aside to the looming pile of poems that I don’t have any feelings about.  I wound up picking “Rain” only because it felt like it had a little more mystery in it.  The speaker of this poem is an older man, he’s struggling with a wave of nostalgia brought upon by the sound of the rain.  It’s a very tactile piece, heavy with the smells, but more so with sounds.  The rain, the loon and the lapping of water are consistent sounds that carry the reader through the poem until the end.   Even though it was a poem about the loss of the speaker’s father (among others unnamed) the poem seemed pregnant with emotion, as if it were about to give birth to a new self, one that had more of an understanding of these emotions.  It was also a pregnant pause of one’s own loneliness.  “Rain” used the desolate call of a loon to bring forth the lonely and abandoned tone in the poem.  I also really liked the poem because, to me, it felt as though it was written at the time approaching the Witching Hour, when everything has more potency and virility.  It is a time when thoughts turn hazy and concrete lives are left in the background.  “Rain” is relatable to most audiences, especially if they have lost someone close to them. 

I have to give a nod towards “Midsummer” because of the relatability, sensuality, and cadence.  It had great rhythm and it flowed well with the topic of the time of sexual discovery in adolescence.  The poem also dealt with nostalgia, but it was in such a way that it celebrated life and exploration.

Reading and Writing Habits?

For a long time, I couldn’t define what my reading style was, but i definitely knew what I didn’t like: romance novels, most science fiction, most religious books, or anything with a forced happily ever after ending.  I like books with a biting sense of humor or books that look like battle scars when I put them back up on the shelf.  Usually, if I overreact and throw it up against a wall, or once, in a lake, I’m going to remember it.  When I don’t like a book, I’ll just put it down and not pay attention to it.  But when it creates tangible drama for me, then I think about it and recommend it later.   I’m not a huge poetry fan.  Reading is an escape outlet for me, and poems don’t offer the same sort of solitude that I get from prose. 

Top Five Authors I’ve read within the last year (not in any order):

Tom Robbins

Jonathan Safran Foer

Jhumpa Lahiri

Ann Patchet

Chuck Palahnuik

I love writing short stories.  I love the revision process and all the red tape that goes along with it. 

When it comes to the future of my writing, I don’t have a clue at this point.  I’m seriously considering an MFA, but don’t know if I can justify spending all that time and money when I want to get into a career in nonprofits.  Ideally, I’d like to work for a children’s literacy nonprofit, but we’ll see if that’s how it works out.

Esteban’s cigar…

Lately, my favorite images in books have been of elderly men smoking, or ones sitting in a hammock,  so my blog is dedicated to them.  I’m talking about the old men with roadmap faces, deep cavernous ridges and eyes that tell you nothing.  Not in a Bond villain kind of way, but in a way that means you have to ask to find out.  You have to question.  Or I have to question.  And I do have questions about the literary world, so my blog is going to work through finding out some answers.